This was a week full of new experiences as I slowly maneauvered from being an observer to actively engaging and taking part in class activities and discussions. Although lots have happened this week, I take away two aspects or "golden nuggets" so to say:
Professional Development Day. Prior to this Friday's PD day I always envisioned these set aside days as oppurtunities for teachers to grow as professionals and to learn something new. However, after experiencing this for myself I have come to realize that my old perception was nothing but an illusion. The day was spent forcing teachers to come up with their own curriculum, their own standards, and the corresponding rubric for the selected standards. While some teachers expressed their frustration on not having enough knowledge to complete a task that administration should be taking care of other teachers walked out the room while others openly shared their disheartenments over multiple aspects of the way the school is ran. The second portion of the day was not so much different than the first. It was on this day that I truly realized the importance of having a voice as a teacher and not succoumbing to the norms of the education sysytem. Also, questions arose in my mind as to why teachers, the ones who are actually working with the children, have little to no say in the new plans for the school. Why are inefficient plans imposed when they are clearly not working? Why aren't the people who work with children and knows what works and what does'nt, not allowed to provide input?
Secondly, my other golden nugget was sparked by a clearly troubled young boy who had zero interest in his own education. This student has not completed a single assignment all year, sits in class talking on his phone, and lacks the ability to see any value in what an education can do for someone. To hear this student react to his teachers requests by blurting out "F you, b*tch" I can't help but acknowledge the likely reality that his behavior and complete disinterest in class is a result of factors within his personal life and upbringing that have shaped him wrongly. Although dealing with this student is no easy task I could'nt help but feel a sense of excitement knowing that if I could somehow reach him in one way or another then that would be what it means to truly make a difference. I could care less if this student remembers the teacher's lesson on Transcendentalism and the Emerson's Maxims. I could care less if he knows the plot of "What Redburn Saw." But what I do care about is that this student recognizes the importance of doing what he needs to do to get his high school diploma and make something out of his life. He doesn't do a single once of schoolwork so theres no possible way he could pass. Will he get frustrated and eventually drop out? What will come of him in the future? To change the mindset of a troubled teen to understand the paths that education can reveal and to want more out of life, is a challenge that excites me and gives me true purpose to what I am doing. Although this dream of saving those students who desperately need to be saved may be far more difficult than I may think, I am ready to give it a try. But how? How can you help someone who does'nt want to be helped? How can you show someone something they are blind to? What if all the strategies of making connections with the student and introducing relatable content material does'nt work? Then what?
Rachel, just as you mentioned, sitting in on PD has been an eye-opening experience for me too. I think it's interesting to now observe the politics that we hear so much about. And as for having a voice, it's one thing to put your beliefs into practice behind the closed doors of your classroom, but another to speak out in front of your colleagues at a tense meeting. I think this is a challenge we will face especially as new teachers trying to get/keep a job while still doing what we know is right.
ReplyDeleteRachel, I am touched by your enthusiasm at reaching out to this troubled student- it is so easy to simply shut down at his aggression- I too have been trying to figure out the ways in which to deal with those that are disinterested, and so obviously do not want to be in the classroom. As of now I do not have any answers, but it's caring enough to try that makes for a good start!
ReplyDeleteJust like when I discovered that many of my fellow actofhopers were struggling with the moral ambiguity of grading, I am relieved to see that many of us are also trying to make sense of the political behind-the-scenes aspect of education. It is interesting to see how teachers in different districts react to the challenges presented to them and Courtney and I were in a similar situation last week.
ReplyDeleteIn terms of the questions you posed at the end, they are similar to the ones that I am also asking myself. I don't know if we will even have the answers at the end of student teaching but hopefully we will come a bit closer!
Rachel I think the important aspect of working with this difficult student is the fact that you are willing to try knowing that there is an enormous possibility that you will not be successful. I believe this will be what separates you from other teachers, you didn't just write him off and send him to the principal. You're trying and that is all anyone can ask. I hope to hear more about the progression of this journey!
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